Untitled

There is a man on Intervention tonight that really reminds me of my dad. It is too much for me right now.  I am a mess. I should not have been watching this show anyway. I cannot watch it without crying sobbing.  It was particularly bad tonight because I have already been spiraling (even further) downward for the last week or so.  Then because I was thinking of my dad I pulled out old letters from him and my grandpa and my uncle.  I think maybe I shouldn't have done that.  I feel very defeated.  I feel very alone.  I feel very sad.