Stuck on Repeat

Confession: This has been my day for the last several days (peppered with moments that have been quite the opposite, pure happiness, more on that later).  I am so depressed, not the sad and lonely and weeping kind (I have those days too)...but the feel nothing at times kind...the largely blank kind...the sit in bed, watch t.v., mindlessly read the internet, and then later hate myself kind...the struggle to shower kind...the overeating kind...the barely sleeping kind...the plan-without-doing kind...the later feel guilty kind...the then feel like a worthless failure kind...the completely overwhelmed and scared but hiding from it and ignoring it kind.