You Win Some, You Gain Some

So, today was a weigh in day, and I did.  It was disappointing, but I'm letting that go.  I'm up about a pound and a half.  I have been doing what I should be, though, exercising, eating better, watching portion sizes... So, I will not let this get me down.  The results will eventually show, and I must remind myself that it is only a number.  I will make adjustments to try to find something that works for me.  Still, my first goal deadline is now nine days away and seems even more challenging (especially with Thanksgiving lurking a couple of days away).  With that in mind, though, I will remember to appreciate the progress I have made continue making.

P.S. I completed another 90 minutes on the elliptical but waited until very late this evening to work out.  It showed.  I was tired and only got 5.4 miles in, and I don't even want to mention my initial 5k time for this workout (okay, close to 50 minutes!).  I am grateful that I stuck with it, though, and didn't abandon the workout all together.

Reason #1

I feel horrified by the expansion of my flesh, ashamed that it matters to me so much, and defiant that I do not feel comfortable in my body. -Sark

The husband and I were going somewhere recently.  He was driving.  I kept catching glimpses of my face in the side mirror.  I found myself staring, at my reflection and then down at my thighs.  It happens when I start up my computer as well.  I catch my reflection in the screen and am disgusted. I am tired of hating my appearance, hating my body.  I am tired of looking at myself and seeing a double chin, jowls, a huge neck, giant arms, swollen fingers, muffin top, pooch, love handles, fupa (yes, I said it), saddlebags, cellulite, stretch marks, cankles...  You name it.

Reason #1? 

Measure Up

I've decided to weigh in weekly now.  It's not working for me to weigh in on only the 15th and 30th, probably because I haven't been weighing in on the 15th and the 30th.  Even though I didn't post it here, I took a picture of the scale on my last weigh in.  It just came to my attention that that was on August 30th.  Wow!  Time flies...  

I've only lost a little over 4 pounds in the last 2+ months.  While I'm happy that I haven't gained overall, my weight has been fluctuating, and this isn't even my low point over the last two months.  Once I lose weight, I don't want to gain it back, even if I'm still ending with a net loss.  I also need to focus on a more rapid rate of loss because as was mentioned in my previous entry, despite losing a decent amount of weight over the last several months, I am considered obese.  Ugh!

I am going to weigh in on the 7th, 15th, 21st, and 30th of each month (7th, 14th, 21st, & 29th of February).  I am going to take my measurements and maybe pictures on the 30th of each month.

It's Cold Outside

The husband and I took the puppy on a very short walk (.5 mile), but it still counts.  It's getting cold out there.  At the end I turned to him and said, "this wind blows."  Bahaha!  I cracked myself up with that one, mostly because there was truly no pun intended.  He did not react.  He's become quite good at this.  This just entertains me more because I know he is secretly very amused by me, clearly. Bahaha!

P.S. I know that today is a weigh-in day, and I've been missing these days lately.  However, this weigh-in will come late too because I am away from my scale.  My weight has been fluctuating a bit in recent days, but overall, I am down about five more pounds.

6 Numbers I'll Share

Hint: My weight is not one of the numbers  Hint: Neither is my clothing size.  I'll write more about my thoughts on this at some point in the future.  Right now I'm in a hurry to get out the door.  My world is spinning so quickly these days. 

Also, I did weigh in yesterday.  I took my measurements as well even though it wasn't measurement day.  I was curious.  I am still sitting at my lowest weight since I began working on this in mid-January.  There has been no loss or gain recently, but I haven't been getting in a lot of exercise.  Confession: Some fast food has found its way back into my diet as well.

As I said, there are certain numbers I'm not sharing (at least at this point).  I have a couple of different reasons for that, which I may talk about at a later time.  However, I do think recording numbers can be a great way to hold oneself accountable.  Seeing numbers decrease (or increase, in the case of miles logged) is also a great way to notice that work is paying off and to provide encouragement. 

With that in mind, the 6 numbers I'll share:
1) My BMI has gone down by 2.
2) I've lost 1/2 an inch off my neck.
3) I've lost 1/2 an inch off each bicep.
4) I've lost 2 inches off my waist.
5) I've lost 1 inch off each thigh.
6) I've lost 1 inch off my hips.

This makes me smile.  Satisfaction.  Motivation.  As I've said, I started trying to lose weight (again) in the middle of January.  This time I've been trying to do it the right way.  ...no more yo-yo diets.  Instead I've been working to change my eating habits and to exercise more regularly.  It is a learning process.  I have regular setbacks and disappointments, but I want to finally reach a healthy weight and stay there.  I'm sticking with it. 

I didn't even record measurements until early in April; so these numbers don't reflect changes from the very beginning when some of my largest weight loss was happening each week.  Honestly, I couldn't bear to see the numbers at that point.  I felt ashamed.  Today I am proud of myself.

Who knows when I will update again.  Life is so busy right now.  These days I don't get home until well after:

Sunset in Middle America