Tuesday, November 29, 2011

Reason #2

Because the appropriate initial, organic reaction to the suggestion to take a trip to the Caribbean (and soon) is happiness and excitement (I know!) and not dread and counting of days/calculating how much weight can be lost in the time between now and the trip.  I know that this is not something to complain about (and I'm not, really).  I know, this is not an actual problem.  That is precisely my point.  I love beaches.  I love hot weather.  I love being in the sun.  And I appreciate this trip and will LOVE this trip.  I just want to feel comfortable in a swimsuit my body again for once.  That makes me want to lose weight (and fast!).  It's not just that, though.  Like I've said, I'm doing this the healthy way, the slow, persistent way.  This is not only about making the body changes but the mind changes.  I don't want to only dream of where I'm going but appreciate where I am, what I have...  My happiness does not depend on my size, how I look in a swimsuit...  Until I truly figure this out, I will never be able to stay a certain size, etc. either.

P.S. Yes, I know that I ate a large bowl (okay, 2) of ice cream today.  I'm fine with that.  Sort of.  It was emotional eating.  No judgment, please!

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